sorry im venting

Sometimes i get so sick of trying to explain myself and what i dont understand to my husband. everytime i say that i dont understand what he is saying he flips out and tells me that if im not trying then hes not going to help and if im going to act "dumb" all the time then i will never pass my classes and get my degree. Its so irritating that i give up trying to explain myself. But then its me being dumb right ugh!!! i wonder sometimes why just why!! why cant he just calm down and let me explain or just for him to try to slow down and tell me without getting mad and giving up on me. i have had lots of people give up on me but when he tells me that he is giving up on me then i want to give up especially with communication wowo you wouldnt belive the stupid fights over commuication! i mean i try my hardest i know he does too but woah its like there is this shield or something holding him back and the closser i get the further he jumps back. i dont know what to do ugh its so hard not having a friend most of my old friends got chased off or i gave up trying to be friends because he hated them but i at least let him keep his friends or i just kept my opinion to myself about them. and there are other times when you cant talk to the family that is there because of a biast situation for both people i talk to. its nothing against them its just who do i vent to anymore. i cant thats the thing and it is frustrating. even when it comes to diciplining the gurl i try everything but when he diciplins it works me nope i just get told no and funny looks and hitting he gets the results he expects. and its like i dont do it and i dont know i guess this is my way of venting to someone who isnt face to face to watch me go through my crying or anger emotions or sometimes both. just to let it out in writing like i always have done. but sometimes that is so hard to do when you want someone to comfort you and maybe tell you it will all be alright. all i want is just to understand him and for him to understand me better.